How We Gonna Pay?
by Tina101
Summary: A project I did for English, a mock epic about how the Bohemians are going to pay the rent.  VERY AU!  Oneshot.


**A/N:** This was for a school project (a mock epic), so that's why there are big vocab words, and other weird stuff. I just thought that I'd share my assignment with you all!!

_How We Gonna Pay?_

Oh Jonathan Larson, muse who brought us the very musical that broke down the barrier between rock and musicals, help us in our time of great need and lack of entertainment. Our favorite bohemians have a tale to tell, a tale which is very familiar to them. Guide the pen in our hand as we share the story with those who are not familiar with the tale of…paying the rent.

The seven bohemians walked down Avenue B to the loft. Yet again, there was a padlock on the door. Everyone turned to Benny. The door brandished an eviction notice. This was nothing new to Roger and Mark. It had to be the fifth one in the past month. Mimi wrapped her arms around Roger's waist.

"Baby, did you forget to pay the rent?" she asked innocently.

"Uhhh…" Mimi buried her face in Roger's arm and struggled to stifle a laugh. "I thought Mark was going to pay it." Everyone turned to Mark. The filmmaker put his hands up in defense.

"Hey, don't look at me! I thought Roger was going to pay it! Besides, Benny said that he'd talk to Muffy."

"Don't pin this on me. I can't help it if Muffy hates me, none of this is my fault, and all I did was divorce her. I should not have to worry about all your problems. This inopportune situation was brought upon yourselves by you two." Maureen rolled her eyes. As far as she was concerned, Benny was like a renegade who sold them out for lust and money that he didn't need.

Maureen took a long drink of the beer in her hands. It was her third bottle that night, but that didn't matter to her. Joanne reached over and took the bottle away from her.

"Pookie! What the heck's your problem!?" Maureen demanded. Joanne dumped the beer on the sidewalk.

"That's your third bottle, that's what. You're going to be hung-over tomorrow, and I can't take off work to take care of you." Maureen crossed her arms. Joanne was so high-strung and stately. It drove her _crazy_!

"Benny, do you have a key so we can at least get inside?" Mimi asked her friend hopefully. Benny dug his keys out of his pocket.

"I do! I thought I had given it back." The bohemians parted so Benny could unlock the door. The African American removed the padlock and everyone went inside.

The seven bohemians entered the destitute loft. The musty scent that was usually associated with the loft swirled around the friends. Reels of film and sheets of music were rampant across the floor and duct tape covered couch. The chaos was soothing to everyone; it was a sign that Muffy hadn't taken it upon herself to pack up their stuff…again. There was an envelope with Benny's name written across it in a careful script on the coffee table.

"Hey man, this is for you," Collins said as he handed Benny the envelope. The African American opened it and looked at the letter. It was from Muffy, a sign that there was still an extant relationship between them.

Benny- 

_Hello honey. I didn't empty out the loft because I didn't want to take your stuff, and I wasn't sure what were yours and what was your friends'. How can you live in a squalid place in such a somber part of New York? Father said that he finds it ironic that you used to be the one collecting the rent from your lowly friends, and now you've become one of them. Father wants to make amends with you. If you choose to do so, he is willing to discern you with his business again. The choice is yours and yours alone. Don't let your 'friends' influence you. You're so deft at running a business; we would hate to see that go to waste._

_-Muffy_

Benny crumpled up the letter and threw it away. How could Muffy implicate herself with him again after what she did? After all, it was her that packed up her bags and walked out the door so long ago.

"What did Muffy say?" Joanne asked.

"She forgives me, but I didn't do anything wrong. She wants me to come back." Roger nearly choked on his beer.

"Are you going to?" he asked. Benny made a disgusted face.

"Are you kidding me!? You couldn't _pay_ me to go back!"

"Too bad, we could really use the money," Maureen said under her breath so only Mimi could hear her. The dancer laughed. She knew that Maureen meant it as an insult. She still abhorred Benny.

Maureen and Joanne finally went home. Maureen was already feeling the affects of her excessive alcohol drinking. The second Maureen got home; she flopped down in bed. it was then that Joanne noticed a strange red mark on the diva's neck.

"Honeybear, what's on your neck?" she asked in the calmest voice possible. Maureen sat up. She furrowed her brow in deep concentration. Suddenly she realized what Joanne was talking about.

"Oh, it's a tattoo, you like it?" she asked rather cheerfully. Joanne knew that it was from the alcohol.

"What's it of?" Maureen slid her long brown hair off her neck.

"Why don't you see for yourself?" she asked seductively. Rolling her eyes, Joanne climbed across the bed and looked carefully at Maureen neck. Tattooed there was what looked like a mark from lipstick, a pair of lips.

"Where'd you get the money for this?" Joanne asked almost reluctantly. She had a feeling that she didn't want to know the answer.

"Oh, I found this envelope of money sitting on the table. There was just enough for me to get this. So, do you like it?"

"Maureen! That money was for the guys and Mimi so they could pay the rent! I was wondering where that went!" Maureen put her hands over her ears.

"You don't have to yell! How the heck was I supposed to know what that money was for?"

"You could have asked! It's not like you got something you can take back! I swear sometimes, you don't think." Joanne got up and stormed out of the room. Maureen got up and followed her.

"And sometimes you're too stuck up! Come on, you know you like my tattoo!" Joanne felt Maureen wrap her arms around her waist from behind and nuzzle her neck. The lawyer sighed. "I love you Pookie." Joanne put her hands over Maureen's.

"I love you too." Maureen smiled and kissed Joanne's cheek softly before retreating to bed.

Collins was in a commodious room of sorts. A smoke-no fog swirled around his knees, blocking the view of the ground. Collins took a reluctant step. Suddenly, a form began walking towards him. After a few seconds, Collins could make out who it was.

"Angel!" he exclaimed as he rushed forward. When he tried to wrap his arms around Angel, he found that he couldn't. "What's going on Ang?" he asked.

"This is a dream Collins. I know what's going on with the rent, and I know how I can help," Angel replied.

"But how, I mean you're…"

"Dead," Angel and Collins said sadly at the same time.

"I know, but I know things that you don't. I want you to listen to me. In the china cabinet on the far side of the loft is a coffee can." Collins nodded. He knew what Angel was talking about; it used to be Roger's not so secret hiding place for his drug money. "Inside is enough money."

"What!? Why didn't Roger tell us?"

"He probably forgot. I mean, it's been a while since he's needed the money. Anyway, use the money to pay Muffy the rent. It'll keep her off your case for a while."

"Okay."

"I have to go now Collins."

"Wait, Angel, don't leave!"

"I'm sorry, I have to. I love you."

"I love you too." In a blinding flash of light, Angel was gone.

The next morning, Collins got up and went straight to the ratty china cabinet on the far side of the loft. He was following Angel's explicit directions. In the bottom cabinet was a coffee can.

"What are you doing?" Mark asked from where he, Benny, Roger and Mimi were sitting on the couch.

"I had a hunch," replied Collins. "Look at what I found." He showed everyone the can. Roger froze. Mimi put a comforting hand on his thigh.

"What's that?" she asked.

"My old stash. That's where I hid my money. How'd you know where it was?" Collins sat on the floor and dumped the money in front of him.

"You weren't all that sneaky man." Collins began to count the money. The four other bohemians looked on as he counted. Finally, he was done.

"So, how much money is there?" Benny asked. Collins sighed.

"Not nearly enough. We need $1500 right?" Benny nodded.

"We're a thousand short." Benny groaned. Suddenly, Mark stood up. He rushed to his room and returned with a reel of film. "What's that for?"  
"I'm going to go down to Alexi and sell this film to her." Mimi raised her eyebrows.

"I thought you sold your soul the last time you did that," she said. Mark pulled on his jacket and beloved scarf.

"I did, but we need the money. Besides, this film is a load of crap. It's just something on homeless people I cut together one afternoon. Those people at Buzzline have no clue what's good and what's crap." Mark grabbed the reel. "I'll be back later." With that, Mark left.

Mark sat uncomfortably across from Alexi. Alexi was busy talking to someone on the phone. At last, she finished up and turned her attention to Mark.

"What can I do for you Mark?" she asked in a slightly callous tone. Mark sighed. He put the reel of film on the desk in front of him.

"I have this for you." Alexi looked unconvinced.

"I thought you had quit," she pointed out simply.

"I did, but I could really use the money. Besides, you said that if I ever had something good, I could come back. Well, this is something good. It's not the footage from the riot, but it's at least something."

"What's it about?"

"Homeless people in Alphabet City." Alexi picked up the reel and looked it over as if it held some sort of secrets.

"How much?" she finally asked.

"How about $3200?"

"That's $200 more than last time," Alexi pointed out.

"I know, but now I'm slightly more well known. I think I deserve some sort of raise." Alexi leaned back in her chair.

"How does your little lawyer friend feel about this? I surprised that she didn't come with you."

"Joanne had to work today. So, do we have a deal?" Alexi tapped her pencil on her desk for a few seconds.

"Fine." Mark looked relieved. "But…"

"But?"

"But, we won't pay you all at once. I can give you a check for a fourth of the money right now. The rest you'll get within the next month."

"But I need the money right now!"

"You should have thought about that before. Do we still have a deal?" Mark knew that he'd only kick himself if he didn't take the deal. After all, it took a huge chunk out of the money they needed.

"Sure, why not?" Alexi wrote the check for Mark, and the filmmaker left.

Roger was mad that Alexi wouldn't pay Mark all the money at once, but he was happy that they had gotten most of the money that they needed. Now, the inhabitants of the loft were trying to figure out where to come up with the $200 that they needed.

"I can work an extra shift tonight," Mimi suggested. Roger's head whipped around to face his girlfriend.

"No way, I won't let you work any more than you need to at that club!" he exclaimed firmly.

"Well, right now I _need_ to work so we won't be living on the streets, okay?" Roger groaned. "Come on baby, its not that bad." Mimi got up and straddled Roger's lap. "Please?" she asked as she pouted her full lip.

"Fine whatever."

"Okay, good. I have to be there in twenty minutes," Mimi said happily as she got up and flitted over to the bedroom she shared with Roger. Roger stared at her open-mouthed.

"Why do I have the feeling that this was all premeditated?" he asked Benny, Mark and Collins. All three men shrugged.

"Probably because it was," Benny replied simply.

"Women," all four men muttered at the same time.

Mimi stood backstage with her kimono fastened around her waist. She could hear all the men outside cheering. They were like flies swarming to a bag of food, all with empty stomachs. The music pounded through Mimi's thin body. The sight of her colleagues getting ready to go on too provided Mimi with some solace. At last, the song changed. Mimi shed her kimono and went out on stage. The entire time she danced, she grabbed as much money waving in the air as possible. Every bill would help. The vociferous crowd of men simply cheered her on. Finally, Mimi's never-ending shifted came to an end, and the dancer headed home. It was only midnight, surprisingly early for her to be getting home.

The four Boho boys were all sitting around waiting for Mimi to get home. They all looked up when the loft door slid open.

"How'd it go?" Roger asked. Mimi flopped down on the couch next to him. She draped her legs over the side and rested her head in his lap. "Tired?" Mimi nodded. She pulled a huge wad of money out of her coat pocket and handed it to Collins.

"Here, there should be more than enough there. It's amazing how much pervs will pay you." Mark, Collins and Benny laughed, but this didn't amuse Roger. Collins counted out the money. "How'd I do?"

"We have $300! We _finally_ got enough money!" Everyone was happy about this, but was too tired to show it. They stayed up talking for a little while before retreating to their respective rooms for the night.

The next morning, Mimi and Benny walked down the street to Muffy's office. They wanted to pay her in person.

"Some week, huh?" Benny asked.

"Yeah," Mimi replied. She looked at the African American. "You know, I learned something this weekend."

"Oh yeah, what's that?"

"That rich people have sticks shoved up their butts and worry too much about money. No offense and all." Benny shook his head.

"None taken."

Benny and Mimi walked past the Life Café. There, sitting in the window was a man with shaggy brown hair. He was busy writing in his notebook. In careful letters he wrote, _Rent_ by Jonathan Larson.

The End 


End file.
